Stickfiguresushi

  Ok, so let me first say that I am really, really tired. This weekend was hard. Jake and the kids took a mini cruise excursion, and they had a grand old time. Nick was my caregiver, so we stayed behind. And wouldn't you know that I lost a huge amount of my motor skills and independence while they were gone? Yep. Exciting, right? I hate being dependent on other people. Even being a stay at home mom chaffs. But it is what it is. We work with what we've got. "Bloom where you're planted", you know? Well, I definitely have to do that. I just wish it wasn't so damned painful and humiliating! I already lost my ability to get into bed by myself, from about the time that I got the hospital bed. At first, I only needed help lifting my legs onto the bed. But now, I need that first, followed by manual arranging of my limbs to get them in a position that is comfy and  doesn't cut off circulation. Just an inch to the right or left, and I lose all sensation outside of a...

 I am having a significantly high pain day today. My left hip, deep in the butt cheek, feels like there are spikes on the ball joint. Every time I move, especially to bend at the waist (sitting on the toilet, for example) it screams at me and I scream back. The pain is unbelievable. I don't have words. I am wondering whether there is something local that can be done, like a patch or a shot, that can deaden the pain directly in just that hip. My methadone and morphine are not doing the trick. I need some kind of relief, though, before I stroke out from the pain.

Read the title in your best Juno Birch accent. Love her. Anyway, I decided to start blogging my end of life journey for family and friends, new and old. I have many who don't use Facebook, and not one of them use the same social media platforms. So, I decided to blog it here.  Stay tuned for sporadic updates as they occur to me. With love, Teresa